Food Editor T-Shirts

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

First Novels.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

Reading my Critics

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

6 Brothers Falafel

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Punctuation Police

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"