Food Controversies Fan Gifts

Size differences aside...it's that cheesy 'manufactured' smile that makes it so easy to pick a fruit fly on a GM diet!!

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

Fresh Fish

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

And this is one we made earlier.

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"Patient continues to entertain the sincere delusion that apple pie served with a slice of cheese on top is delicious..."

"I can grant you any wish you desire except for making sure the ice cream machine always works at McDonald's."

G8 ministers agonise over food decisions.

"The fog is thick, but so tender you can cut it with a fork."

"Papi, we've decided we want nothing but salads...and hamburgers...for every meal."

More New Cereals For Kids

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

'Oh yeah, it's a great idea, but how do we go about converting everybody to Judaism?'

Mad cow disease spreads to other ranches

'Sometimes they bring food home from a restaurant but you can tell it hasn't been properly tinned.'

'It couldn't be much fresher ,sir - didn't you see it wink at you ?'

Lady sees vending machine: 'Your 2 Cents Worth 50 Cents'

'I say Madam, I prefer my soup bald!' (Victor Hugo, Notre-Dame de Paris)