Food Comedy Follower Gifts

The Bread world's version of a Crematorium using a Toaster to Cremate.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Garlic Free Zone.

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Cat eats date.

Better Not Squash.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.