Food Comedy Follower Gifts

The Bread world's version of a Crematorium using a Toaster to Cremate.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Filet minion

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Garlic Free Zone.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Cat eats date.

Better Not Squash.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

The leaning tower of Pizza.