Food Comedy Collector Gifts

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

"Charles didn't like tofu."

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Garlic Free Zone.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Better Not Squash.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Cat eats date.

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

The leaning tower of Pizza.