Food Chain Aficionado T-Shirts

"Quiet in here today, isn't it?"

La Table

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Vegetarian Birds

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Can I have flies with that'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Avocado Timeline

Choice hellhole

Teenage Angst.

'It's a good source of calcium and contains plenty of flabonoids.'

'How was the squid?'

"Bears talk."

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

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"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'