Chain Restaurant Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I'm shooting for early retirement, opening a small restaurant, building it into a chain, and the - early retirement again.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

View to the Future

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Menu Dating

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"....and hold the garlic."

Platter confusion.

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'Whatever he's eating.'

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

'Can I get a box for this?'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Linguini for two?"

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! You've come to the right place.