Chain Restaurant Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm shooting for early retirement, opening a small restaurant, building it into a chain, and the - early retirement again.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

View to the Future

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Menu Dating

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Advanced footsie

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"....and hold the garlic."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'Whatever he's eating.'

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Platter confusion.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Can I get a box for this?'

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Linguini for two?"

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! You've come to the right place.

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"