Food Bowl Detective Pillows

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

GM Crops Genie.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Don't tell him anything."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly