Food Bowl Detective T-Shirts

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

GM Crops Genie.

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"Don't tell him anything."