Fast Food Detective Pillows

CSI Fridays

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'How is the water prepared?'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Don't tell him anything."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

GM Crops Genie.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'Mine was stone cold.'

Horse meat scandal.

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Plane with banner shoots at another.