Font Fanatics Pillows

'Out! - We don't serve your type!'

Italica

"I'v been banished to this island. Apparently, creating the Comic Sans font didn't go over so well."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Italica

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Quills - Sizes 1-9

Sign Reform

Some scents are nonsense.

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

"The antidote is $150."

Dept. of History. This term paper doens't have any footnotes at all! I'm suffering from citer's block!

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

Pheromones.

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

"I like fountains very much!"

The Graphic Designers EYE EXAM

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

'Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?'

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

'I'm going to dictate a stern letter of reprimand for Watkins, but let's soften the blow with a Comic Sans font.'

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

School of Arts and Sciences.

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

Gender Specific Bath Towels (Hers)

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'