Following Legal Cases Gifts

'I'll plead guilty if you'll guarantee me 24 hour cable network news.'

Trial by Media

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Sue The Bastards

Justice 4 Ron

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Counsel examining witness

'Must you be so judgemental?'

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'