Following Legal Cases Prints

'I'll plead guilty if you'll guarantee me 24 hour cable network news.'

Trial by Media

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

Justice 4 Ron

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Sue The Bastards

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

'Overruled, you may continue.'

Counsel examining witness

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'