Follicle Philosopher Gifts

"Do you want it parted in the middle?"

"Hey... Where'd everybody go?"

Not you. Your hair.

"Yeah, but I hear they're even uglier without the hair."

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'How would you like your hair Sir? Up? Down? Flying around looping the loop or defying the ground?'

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Be creative...!"

George Orwell

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Rodin's 'The Thinker' imagines himself as Rodin's 'The Kiss'.

"What should I say this is about?"

"Maybe he's waving and drowning."

Toupee in a tin.

The War Against Imagination

'No matter how hard I work, I'll never get higher on the food chain then this?'

'I've been under a lot of pressure.' (Diver on therapist's couch).

Conflict is harder to sustain when you don't see everything in black and white.

'What does Easter mean to you?'

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

The Discovery of the Principle of the Parachute during a landslip in the Apennines

'How long has it been since you had a shearing?'

Caution: Perfectionists at Work Next 1/4 Mile.

No Easy Answers

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'