Folk Medicine Follower Gifts

'The company now offers one sweet, well-rounded health plan with 24/7 coverage...an apple a day.'

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

New Age Store.

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'Don't worry, pal. I'm just here for one of them. You still have eight to go.'

Witch Bonfire

'When a doctor looks in your ear with that pointy thing- what's he looking for...?'

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'And just where did you study medicine?'

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"Really, though, he flew too close to the ground."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"Here, let me put some ointment on your bug bite. I made it myself from cayenne powder, licorice root and mugwort leaves blended with that vanilla pudding I made last week. Hmm...it's not here."

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

King Commute.

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

'Amazing what you can do on photo-shop - that doesn't look anything like him!'

"She attended the Tia Carmen medical school."

'Talk about temperamental. All I did was suggest he try vinegar and brown paper.'

'It's ironic: I'm a carnivore, but my stomach pains were cured by a herbalist...'

'Oh, poor thing. You've got a really high temperature!'

Porcupine Acupuncture

Faith Healer next to the Emergency Room at a fair.

"...And here is the snack bar."

Folk wisdom of the galaxies

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

'You and your 'an apple a day keeps eviction away'...'

'Ah, the wee people.'