Folk Medicine Follower Gifts

'The company now offers one sweet, well-rounded health plan with 24/7 coverage...an apple a day.'

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

New Age Store.

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'Don't worry, pal. I'm just here for one of them. You still have eight to go.'

Witch Bonfire

'Arghhh! He's got no face!'

"My super-vision sees...someone yelling at his elders...Cousin Cecilia sneaking out her window...someone making a spinach burrito... No! I must stay focused...and find the evil villain mal de ojo!"

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

'When a doctor looks in your ear with that pointy thing- what's he looking for...?'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"Really, though, he flew too close to the ground."

'And just where did you study medicine?'

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"Here, let me put some ointment on your bug bite. I made it myself from cayenne powder, licorice root and mugwort leaves blended with that vanilla pudding I made last week. Hmm...it's not here."

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

King Commute.

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

'It's ironic: I'm a carnivore, but my stomach pains were cured by a herbalist...'

"She attended the Tia Carmen medical school."

'Amazing what you can do on photo-shop - that doesn't look anything like him!'

'Talk about temperamental. All I did was suggest he try vinegar and brown paper.'

'Oh, poor thing. You've got a really high temperature!'

Porcupine Acupuncture

"...And here is the snack bar."

'Turns out it was starve a cold, feed a fever.'

"It appears your credit card expired 18 years ago Mr. Van Winkle. Would you care to pay for the alarm clock in cash?"

'You and your 'an apple a day keeps eviction away'...'

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"