Flying Pigs Fan Gifts

Flying pigs.

When pigs fly.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"This will sting a bit."

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

Tiger Costume

"Think about the honey."

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

"Fancy an Indian?"

A Bug's Life Advice

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

'I composed the ad jingle in my dreams: 'Hey, this flying monkey's the one for you ...'.'

If chickens had lips...'Thank God! I made it to the other side!'

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

'Culled?! That's a relief...I thought you said we were gonna be killed!'

"Sorry I'm late, I was at a funeral, paying my respects to the old man who used to feed me at the park every day. . ."

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

' 'cock-a-doodle-doo' out of whack!'

Thanksgiving Turkey Weight and Fortune

'Why am I always the piggy who crys, 'we-we-we' all the way home?'

Of course it's all just "busy work." We're bees. That's what we do.

"Me, O-/A+ is my favourite cocktail..."

Keep off the Square.