Flyer With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Relax, sir. As soon as we're sure the first class passengers have plenty of oxygen, you'll get yours.

Vampire on a plane

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

Dog on a plane.

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

For Sale: Red Arrow

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

Happy Pilot flying fast plane.

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

"Look at thse plodders down there - what do they know of exhilaration?"

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

"Attention: The Captain has turned off the hokey-pokey light. You are now free to shake it all about."

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

Community Board: Free Paper Ripping Lessons

Witch Looks Into A Flight Training School

'He must be going economy!'

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

Take off went surprisingly well, but landing was going to be a bitch.

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

'I'll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings.'

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

Excess Baggage: Airlines continue to come up with new add-on charges.

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

Grapes

'I'm afraid we're out of whisky, sir -- the pilot drank it all.'