Flyer With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Vampire on a plane

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

Dog on a plane.

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

For Sale: Red Arrow

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

Happy Pilot flying fast plane.

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

"Look at thse plodders down there - what do they know of exhilaration?"

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

"Attention: The Captain has turned off the hokey-pokey light. You are now free to shake it all about."

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

Witch Looks Into A Flight Training School

Community Board: Free Paper Ripping Lessons

'He must be going economy!'

Take off went surprisingly well, but landing was going to be a bitch.

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

Excess Baggage: Airlines continue to come up with new add-on charges.

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

Grapes

'I'm afraid we're out of whisky, sir -- the pilot drank it all.'

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

Opt Out of Body Scans and Pat Downs - Fly Nude.