Fly Humorist T-Shirts

"I can't stand Generation ZX-3452. Those entitled brats have no idea how hard we had it growing up."

Flies prepare to duel with fly swatters.

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'Flight simulator'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

For Sale: Red Arrow

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

Baggage Reclaim

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

'Catching flying fish!'

'Ooops. I hit a hair pocket.'

"We'll now start boarding Group 9... Please remember your inferiority as you walk past the other groups, you cheap, dirty, cretins."

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

"This would be a lot easier if we all didn't look alike"

Did you double dip?

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

"I keep telling you, poppy-seed bagels are nothing but trouble."

'Captain, I see another plane at 10:22.'

'If she bites, you've got 18 seconds to suck the poison out,'

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

"He's always had a fascination with the hard drinking,hard living writer,the tortured genius. It's an image he's tried to emulate. Unfortunately he's only ever managed the first two parts." "I can't <hic> feel my face."