Flighty Humorist T-Shirts

"Vinnie, it's time we send our 'friend' a little message."

'Flight simulator'

"It's my helper trout!"

Vampire on a plane

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

Do you mind if I mix a little business with pleasure and have a brief conversation with the waiter about the fly in my soup?

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

For Sale: Red Arrow

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

Airport security - next step?

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'

The FS-2004 has a great new add-on!