Plane Humorist T-Shirts

'Flight simulator'

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Vampire on a plane

"It's my helper trout!"

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Cow Pilot.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

Two birds refuel.

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Baggage Reclaim

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

'I went to wash the wheels on that European Airbus A380 by myself. I didn't know it had 22 wheels.'