Fly-fighting Fashionistas Gifts

'Actually I'm a subscriber to the deterent effect myself.'

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Leopards do change their spots

'How long did you try before calling?'

"We couldn't find a sitter."

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

We have skule clothes.

Oldies.

Christmas Hat Tree

"She's a lover, not a fighter."

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

Fly eating apple.

"I assure you sir, this bag is used exclusively for first-class trash."

Mile high skydivers

Nashville Peacock

'If you'd try dressing a little more conservatively, you might be able to get a job in the mainstream.'

I don't care

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"What's with funny little guys wearing bright colored clothes in the arctic?"

Woman Sheep Knitting from her Husband.

'I'd like a derby with air-holes.'

EEK! You've got hat hair!

Titan Arum

"I've heard of a 'camel toe' but that is ridiculous."

Hardcore Hikers

Easter Eggs

'Remember when they were babies and that was all padding?'

"I am here on behalf of a concerned caller, why are you wearing shorts in winter?"

"I thought we agreed - no turtlenecks after spring."

'I understand you sell awesome earrings that double as fishing lures.'

Old lady in wheelchair commenting on pet cochin fowl dressed in human clothes

"I'm not sure the Christmas jumper is good for your gravitas, m'lud."

Black is slimming, but it can't perform miracles.