Fluent In Flu Gifts

Artist's model for a painting of Hamlet turns up to the studio with a black eye

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

Vaccine

Flu vaccine.

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Polly wants a flu shot."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

Flu Vaccine.

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

"This feels so familiar."

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

Trick or Treatment.

The Fart Side

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

'I'm glad you two have finally met.'

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"

"According to my analysis, if Travis has the office cold this week, I'll catch it next week, and then Brenda -- which means that Susan should start sniffling right around Thanksgiving."

Air catarrh.

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

'You don't want to eat me. I have Bird Flu.'

'Last week's sermon was supposed to be about Plagues, but I got the flu.'

"I'll have the chicken Tamiflu."

"You have a common cold. Here's a prescription for chicken soup from the deli next door."

The doctor says I have man flu. - 'Did he give you any medicine?' - 'No. He said I should 'make the most of it'' - 'Eh?' - 'I feel soooo ill. Can you get me a sandwich?' - 'Gah!! Men are ridiculous' -

"It's the same every winter - another epidemic of norovirus stories."

"Honey, we need to get vaccinated! The flu forecaster says another storm is coming!"

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

Transmitting Swine Flu.

'Has there ever been such a sickly group of rugged individualists.'

'A flu shot? I won't need that I have diplomatic immunity!'