Fluent In Flu Prints

Artist's model for a painting of Hamlet turns up to the studio with a black eye

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

Flu vaccine.

Vaccine

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Polly wants a flu shot."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

Flu Vaccine.

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

"This feels so familiar."

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

Trick or Treatment.

The Fart Side

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

'I'm glad you two have finally met.'

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

"According to my analysis, if Travis has the office cold this week, I'll catch it next week, and then Brenda -- which means that Susan should start sniffling right around Thanksgiving."

Air catarrh.

'You don't want to eat me. I have Bird Flu.'

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

'Last week's sermon was supposed to be about Plagues, but I got the flu.'

"I'll have the chicken Tamiflu."

"You have a common cold. Here's a prescription for chicken soup from the deli next door."

The doctor says I have man flu. - 'Did he give you any medicine?' - 'No. He said I should 'make the most of it'' - 'Eh?' - 'I feel soooo ill. Can you get me a sandwich?' - 'Gah!! Men are ridiculous' -

'My elbow has a cold!'

"Keep your guard up against 'flu."

Transmitting Swine Flu.

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

'You have Drattus Flatulence, or what we commonly call 'Darn Tootin'!'