Flu Fighter Gifts

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

Flu vaccine shortage forces man to seek out drug dealer.

"I'll have the chicken Tamiflu."

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

'Psst. Hey, Lady. Tamiflu? Best price in town!'

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

Flu Police.

'And when exactly did you start sprouting feathers?' - Public warned against buying 'Bird Flue' Antivirals over the internet.

'So I said 'Pandemic? Pigs will fly!' And what happened? Swine flu!'

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

Flu Vaccine.

Newspaper articles reads, 'Bird flu dangers' - cuckoo clock coughs in background.

Trick or Treatment.

"You have a common cold. Here's a prescription for chicken soup from the deli next door."

Flu Anxiety.

"It's the same every winter - another epidemic of norovirus stories."

'It's a rare form of swine flu. Instead of a rash, you've got a rasher.'

Swine flu.

'So I said 'Pandemic? Pigs will fly!' And what happened? Swine flu!'

'Let me rephrase that...'

'I hope his headcold doesn't go to his chest.'

Boy, this cold medicine works great.

Colds

'Let's go the whole hog...Have some Tamiflu!'

'Tell them no, Henry - Halloween is over!'

An ounce of prevention . . . is better than down for the duration.

Human Cull: People who constantly sniff, instead of blowing their nose.

"I said have you had your flu shot?!"

"Keep your guard up against 'flu."

"What do we want?... Flu jabs! When do we want them?... Now!"

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

"This feels so familiar."

Vaccine