Flower Humorist Pillows

"My wife said I had to get flowers for my mother-in-law....I don't suppose you have any dead ones laying around?"

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

''What's in the bag, lady?''

'Flight simulator'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Conference Pears

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Man is injured transporting cacti.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

God builds the first lawn mower.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Crazy paving company.

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

'Look what my son gave me!'

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"