Florida Jokers Pillows

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Photobooth Photobomb

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

"That's the deep end."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

Musical Accidents

'I'd like a puppy who's cute, playful, and can shoulder a lot of blame.'

"Mom said we're old enough to take care of you, so this is our new chain of command!"

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

"Is our fish fresh? Sure it is! My dad is just delivering the latest catch..."

'Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calf's stepfather?'

You know you're middle aged...

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

Pinata Pranks

"This is called silent tennis? It's like regular tennis without the racket."

It went out. The program must have crashed.

Queen Elizabeth 2. Yankees ). I told you they wouldn't think it was funny.

'That would be way embarrassing.'

"Of course what else would it be?"

'Don't worry...that's our mascot'

Good Dog!...Bad dog!...Good dog!....Nice dog!...Very bad dog!....Good dog!....Good dog!...Naughty dog!..."

'Money's no object, lad! Whatever you want, you can have, and everything's available in our fully stocked toy department on the third floor...'

'Tell him to cut it out - we're not into leather!'

'Washing hanging on the golf flag.'

'He picked it, and ate it.'