Flooded With Humor Pillows

"We got knocked back on flood insurance they claim it was an act of God."

posting a flood insurance claim

'You lifted your head.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

High tide.

'He did it for us.'

"You know very well what fish!"

"I bark and I bark and I bark, and yet, somehow, I'm still unhappy."

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

Menace.

Home Business - Wife.

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

"Personally, I can't see the Trojans falling for it."

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

'I think I've found what's causing your funny buzzing sound.'

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

"You know a lot about global warming. When will we be able to swim up central park west?"

"No offense..."

Another quality job by Bulldozing for the Hell of It, Inc.

Year of the Seagull: Scarecrow on car's top losing it's battle in chasing gulls away

'I hate the monsoon season!'

"The Choice is yours, Norman - either we divorce or I have you recycled."

OK, when we're together and we're being attacked, there's no need for both of us to drop our tails: let's flip a coin for it...

'Traitor! I hate you!'