Flooded Basement Philosopher Pillows

FHA. The bailout proposals are to help people with their mortgages, not their flooded basements.

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

"What do you mean you wouldn't sweat the water in the basement."

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

Writer's irony.

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

'Ecce homo!'

If toilets could talk

Cat asleep on man's stomach - an island in the bath.

Nature is not perfect

Round the Clock

Prehistoric Graffito

Fred raises the "Late Bloomer" bar to a new level.

'Saving the planet can be fun.'

Mr Meier calendar

'Henry was really counting on dying.'

Opium Den 2019

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

Tattoos! $50 and Tattoos Removed! $10,000.

"I just need a few minutes with the auto-sensor to regain my illusion of control."

"We thought a soulless, desolate community would be good for the kids."