Flirty Strategist Gifts

'I take playing footsie very seriously, Jane. You may have won the first two rounds, but let's make it three out of five.'

'I sent out for everything.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

Dating the efficiency expert.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

Mergers or acquisitions.

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."