Flight Averse Flyer Gifts

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

"Here we are."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"You've got to help her ... she has developed a fear of flying."

"Ever since my great fall, I've been searching for that same adrenaline rush."

Casual skydiving.

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

"Who wants to go first?"

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

Starting is the scariest part.

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

'The job promotion has had a real effect.'

"So good to be out of that flying death trap."

Elite-Premium Passengers

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Try Bob's Flight School

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

"So that's what this is all about? Frequent Flyer Miles?"

"For People Who Enjoy Everything About Flying Except Being 30,000 Feet Up In The Air, There's The WIDE -BODY TRIAN!"

"If I hear one more buzz I will pull this car over!"

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

In Case of Emergency

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."