Flying Phobia Gifts

"Did you hear about the latest plane crash?"

"Here we are."

Dog Nightmares

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

'Food fight!'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Helicopter

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

'He has really taken to the training.'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

Now it's time for Dung or no Dung! With your host Stinkhole Edmunds!

'EEEEEEX-CREMENT!'

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

"Great - the drone can deliver fridges! Come on now, Petersen! It's time for the piano test!"

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

'Your you is unzipped.'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

"Great first glide son! Oh, by the way, remind me to teach you how to land tomorrow..."

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

'Oh no! I forgot my driving glasses! What! You too? Now what are we going to do?'

"Congratulations! You're the proud father of 5 thousand squirming little maggots!"

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

"Just so you know, if this elevator breaks down, I have no problem cannibalizing your body for my survival."

'I forgot to tell you that when George went through his armchair pilot phase he installed ejection seats.'

In Case of Emergency

Scared as Hell Airlines.

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."