Fear Of Flying Gifts

Scared as Hell Airlines.

"Here we are."

'I hate flying. Thank God for terra firma ... or terra mushy ...'

Skiing.

Chiller Theatre

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

"Pencil eraser."

Horror writer.

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

Tonight... Dine At The Terror Room

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

In Case of Emergency

Scary Movies!

'Loose zips cause trips, Robert.'

'It's only a game of Snake and Ladders, Gillian.'

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

"He isn't afraid of everything, yet, but we're getting close."

'Take a deep breath and don't panic---we're walking by the reason this area's known as the 'fear factor''

Everyone knows the naked truth about me phobia.

'Yes - He's armed.'

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Ebola. Should I really be this freaked out about it? I mean, more Americans have been married to Angelina Jolie than have died of Ebola. You should be TERRIFIED! It LIQUIFIES YOUR ORGANS! It's so EASY TO CATCH, too, if a symptomatic Ebola patient throws up on you and you don't notice in time to wash it off before you rub your eyes. Ratings gold! If I stay tuned, will you update me on all the developments?

The phrase "pushing the envelope" came into common usage after Tom Wolfe used it in his book "The Right Stuff." He was describing test pilots with exceptional courage who were expanding the limits of flight. Ernie wants to become a test pilot and people ask me if has the right stuff. Unfortunately, his level of courage can only be described by saying Ernie is not able to push the envelope because he's terrified of getting a paper cut!

"All in favour say 'ouch'."

'You didn't have to be so realistic about your fear of the unknown!'

'He was a very claustrophobic person.'

'I'll need your name, address and social-security number to sell you that book, sir.' - Man purchasing book 'Coping with homeland security'.

"Next! Is your home killing you? Details...after the break!"

'That poor boy is afraid of his own shadow.'