Flextime Aficionado T-Shirts

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

"How flexible are we on the issue of flex time?"

'This new 'flexible working' scheme is a great idea. . . It helps us to identify staff who have a more balanced life. People who have interests outside of the office.'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"Stuart, I'm Stuck! Get. Help...Stu..."

'-Must remember to empty that...'

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'Yes, we have flex time...except when it's not convenient.'

Tea and Sugar Rationing

Gymnast tangled up.

"They got rid of 'work from home,' so I pushed for 'blanket forts from office.'"

'This part of your office's new flexible-work-from-home-schedule?'

"It's his creative time."

"...and I'm an incredibly flexible gymnast. If you get my drift..."

'Flexible working can lead to many benefits, increased productivity, reduced travel expenses, lower stress levels and most importantly...Henry gets to go on more walks.'

'What you want is not time to yourself, you want time up yourself.'

The Acrobat/Musician

Ballerina

"I have to go. I have another coffee break on seven."

Institute of Lazy Journalism

'Show off!'

'The company has got flexible working hours. I've got to be on the spot when they need me, that's why they tie me to a tree near the front door after work.'

The handstand enthusiast with no sense of balance

'Oh...you actually meant bedroom gymnastics.'

'When I asked if you were flexible, Mrs. Harkness, I was asking about your hours!'

'A car crash? No Doc... advanced pilates!'

"Well, then why don't the British just borrow Major Eliot from the Herald Tribune."

"On the one hand your flexibility is good for the company. On the other hand the chiropractors' bills are not."

'General, I'm prescribing joint military exercises - yoga.'

"They can't eliminate gymnastics! With our school's overcrowding, we need it!"