Flextime Aficionado Gifts

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

"How flexible are we on the issue of flex time?"

'This new 'flexible working' scheme is a great idea. . . It helps us to identify staff who have a more balanced life. People who have interests outside of the office.'

"Stuart, I'm Stuck! Get. Help...Stu..."

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

'-Must remember to empty that...'

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'Yes, we have flex time...except when it's not convenient.'

'This part of your office's new flexible-work-from-home-schedule?'

"...and I'm an incredibly flexible gymnast. If you get my drift..."

Tea and Sugar Rationing

Gymnast tangled up.

"They got rid of 'work from home,' so I pushed for 'blanket forts from office.'"

"It's his creative time."

'Flexible working can lead to many benefits, increased productivity, reduced travel expenses, lower stress levels and most importantly...Henry gets to go on more walks.'

'What you want is not time to yourself, you want time up yourself.'

'The company has got flexible working hours. I've got to be on the spot when they need me, that's why they tie me to a tree near the front door after work.'

'Oh...you actually meant bedroom gymnastics.'

Institute of Lazy Journalism

Ballerina

The Acrobat/Musician

The handstand enthusiast with no sense of balance

"I have to go. I have another coffee break on seven."

'When I asked if you were flexible, Mrs. Harkness, I was asking about your hours!'

"Well, then why don't the British just borrow Major Eliot from the Herald Tribune."

"On the one hand your flexibility is good for the company. On the other hand the chiropractors' bills are not."

'A car crash? No Doc... advanced pilates!'

'General, I'm prescribing joint military exercises - yoga.'

Yoga Lessons

Very Advanced Yoga