Fitness Video Critic Pillows

'...Isn't keeping fit fun...?'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"I hate this time of year."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

"Whatever."

Gym Paperboy.

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

"For God's sake, man, just tell me what we're running from!"

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

'This yoga is too hot.'

'Talk about boring...these exercise programs all have the same plot.'

Marvin's new fitness tracker had motivational software.

Fitness is for Wimps

"I canceled my membership, but they keep withdrawing money. I've lost 15 pounds so far fighting them in court."

'Here, hold my dentures.'

"You got this, gents! Sore today, strong tomorrow! Obstacles are opportunities!"

"It's a new diet book. You can't eat until you finish reading a chapter."

'This exercise machine does away with the pretense of a working out. It features a dozen hooks for a hanging clothing.'

"I can feel the effects of these workouts already - my wallet's gotten a lot lighter."

Man in a gym decides to use a sail on the rowing machine.