Exercise Critic Pillows

'This exercise machine does away with the pretense of a working out. It features a dozen hooks for a hanging clothing.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Exercise Class

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Running

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

"I told him he should have trained more."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Keep Fit.

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Jogging Bottoms

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."