Jogging Critic Pillows

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Horse statue throws off rider.

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"I hate this time of year."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

Health

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

Footballer playing for time

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

3. Proceed cautiously in the practice of yoga, as mistakes are hard to undo. 4. When jogging, watch your step. Too much steady pounding can result in a loosening of your internal organs and their slippage into one of your legs.

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

'Here comes the 7:15...'

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

"He's like a Bill Gates without a Microsoft."

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

'I always need motivation to exercise. Like being chased by the cops.'

"Don't forget bib number!"

'Let 'em go. They're joggers. Nothing but gristle and bones.'

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

'I think I'll walk to work today.'

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'That's my jogging suit.'

"You know those annoying couples who jog together? That's us."

Buns of Steel.