Fitness Trendsetter Gifts

"Your posture is better, but the whole office calls you Professor Bouncy Jerk. F.Y.I."

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

FREE-RANGE CIRCUIT TRAINING

Too Skinny, Too Fat

Pelobong

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'Doc, I'd like you to meet my personal trainer. This should explain a lot about my medical situation!'

"It's called a treadmill workstation, not a stationary rat race."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

'... And this is the home gym, where we hang all our clothes.'

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

'No peeking!!' - Learn to Run Classes.

"Here, I've developed a pedometer that keeps track of how many people walk all over you."

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

'Executive Fitness Plan'

'You have to go where the market takes you.'

"I don't get all the hype about treadmill desks."

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.

'Nothing says congrats on a healthy new diet than an arrangement of broccoli, fruit and cauliflower!'

Firewood for Sale

"I used to run also, but I was happy I could turn a hobby into a career!"

'Uh... did you say you are on a lead diet?' 'Dude... it's all natural!'

"Actually, kale is toxic."