Health Trendsetter Gifts

Carrot juice selling better than lemonade

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Contains No Coconut Oil

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"I can deal with the cold, but the fear that this might not be the answer to all my problems is beginning to get to me."

'Nothing says congrats on a healthy new diet than an arrangement of broccoli, fruit and cauliflower!'

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"It's a new craft beverage with zero carbs, zero calories, and no bitter aftertaste. It's called water."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

"We've gone glutton-free."

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

"How passe, darling, everyone I know is re-toxing these days!"

"I'm leaning towards the health benefits of becoming a vegetarian."

Paleo-to-go

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

A gastric band is meant to go on the inside!

"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

'I've discovered a new diet. I can eat as much as I like but I'm not to swallow.'

"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."

The Decafé