Health Trend Chaser Gifts

A New Product from the McWit Sawmill & Bakery, The Highest Fiber Bread: Half wheat and half Bark.

Raw food, after you leave for work.

All Natural Nothing

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

Kensington Fluffies

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

"We succumbed to your hype."

Too Skinny, Too Fat

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Got to have a pair of those!"

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

"We've gone glutton-free."

Formally foods that were good for you.

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"Report back to us about trends."