Quirky Health Trends Follower Gifts

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

All Natural Nothing

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

Too Skinny, Too Fat

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

A girl wearing a t-shirt saying ', la'

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"We've gone glutton-free."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

Formally foods that were good for you.

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'Now you tell me you've gone vegan?'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"I'm leaning towards the health benefits of becoming a vegetarian."

Paleo-to-go

"They harvest our noses then liquify them and drink the juice. They believe it gives them special powers called 'antioxidants'."

"How passe, darling, everyone I know is re-toxing these days!"