Fitness Tracker Aficionado T-Shirts

"I WAS feeling fine but then the health app on my watch said I might be DEAD."

The Brothers Grime

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

Snow woman admiring a muscular snowman.

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

Step aerobics

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

"Better get a move on, only 1,314,000 steps till Christmas."

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

'Here's my mother's number in case I don't make it.'

"Iron Man Competition"

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"On the bright side, my fitness tracker says struggling in qucksand this long is the equivalent of a 10-mile run."

'Stop with the jumping jacks already!'

'Show off!'

"You're a body-builder? - Surely not that one!"

"You've been in child's pose for almost three weeks. Just checking everything's OK. . ."

Bench Press you!

"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

Old MacDonald's Fat Farm

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

Body weight app on mobile

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

'Breath in,Miss Benson...breath in!'

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was wearing a Fitbit?"

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

They're taking this survival of the fittest thing a little too far.