Fitness Promoter Mugs

"I figured out how to get my dad in shape. I make him walk in here when he needs tech support, which is 50 times a day."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Vaccines vs Variants

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

"You won’t need refills."

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

Club DJ.

Pharmco Marketing Dept. We have an improved measles vaccine. How should we promote it? TV spots!

"Telephone call for you, it's the Bank Manager."

Employment Dept. Fill Out Job Applications Here. This application form has too much space for "work experience" and not enough for "leisure activities."

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

'Lose weight or you're through as a western star!'

"Athlete? No. Ambulance chaser."

Fat Britain

THE RISE OF WOMEN'S BOXING

"I just saw myself in the mirror naked and I look like hell. How about a nice compliment to lift my spirits."

The Supreme Court and the March of Progress

'I'm no good at push ups.'

"That's great, but you still have to walk more."

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

Bobo, you idiot – the mask has to go over your nose.

Saline Dion.

"Good morning! I'd like to come in and talk to you about the Bible..."

"In my day we had trimphones."

Vaccination Joy

'If you could get your weight to just shift a tad bit lower you'd be all set.'

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"Wow, all the way from the couch. Have the endorphins kicked in?"

"I'm a weight-loss motivator. I tell people that if they don't eat right and exercise, they will look like me."

Get your shot!