Fitness Promoter Pillows

"I figured out how to get my dad in shape. I make him walk in here when he needs tech support, which is 50 times a day."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Vaccines vs Variants

"You won’t need refills."

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

Club DJ.

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

"I just saw myself in the mirror naked and I look like hell. How about a nice compliment to lift my spirits."

'I'm no good at push ups.'

'Lose weight or you're through as a western star!'

Fat Britain

"That's great, but you still have to walk more."

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

"Good morning! I'd like to come in and talk to you about the Bible..."

Saline Dion.

'If you could get your weight to just shift a tad bit lower you'd be all set.'

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

"In my day we had trimphones."

Vaccination Joy

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"Wow, all the way from the couch. Have the endorphins kicked in?"

"I'm a weight-loss motivator. I tell people that if they don't eat right and exercise, they will look like me."

I suggest you get rid of that paunch! It's not a paunch, it's a big double chin!

Slim Shadow