Fitness Irony Pillows

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'But I feel quite healthy.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Check out my six pack.

"I'm beached body ready."

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

'Oh yeah? Well, Dr. Rose predicts that my inevitable stress-induced massive coronary will strike in half the time as yours.'

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

home fitness/fatness

Walk to School Machine

'Make it a double and make it neat: I'm trying to cut back on flouride.'

Fitness is for Wimps

"I love this device! Not only does it answer questions, it also works out for me."

Prescription Diet

His six pack must be all of six hundred-plus nowadays!

"Only 200 steps? But I've been chasing a buck all day long!"

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

'You're in bad shape...except for your jaws.'

'I'd help you but I'm ergonomically challenged.'

"My exercise routine is to change channels every time there's a an ad about junk food."

If life is a journey, mine is on a treadmill.

"Coming to the beach is a great way to stay in shape."

'You need more cholesterol. The oat bran level in your body is too high.'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'