Fitness Irony Pillows

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Check out my six pack.

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"I'm beached body ready."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'Oh yeah? Well, Dr. Rose predicts that my inevitable stress-induced massive coronary will strike in half the time as yours.'

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

home fitness/fatness

Walk to School Machine

"Only 200 steps? But I've been chasing a buck all day long!"

'Make it a double and make it neat: I'm trying to cut back on flouride.'

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

"I love this device! Not only does it answer questions, it also works out for me."

Fitness is for Wimps

Prescription Diet

His six pack must be all of six hundred-plus nowadays!

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

'You're in bad shape...except for your jaws.'

'I'd help you but I'm ergonomically challenged.'

"My exercise routine is to change channels every time there's a an ad about junk food."

"Coming to the beach is a great way to stay in shape."

'You need more cholesterol. The oat bran level in your body is too high.'

I can feel the effects of these workouts already - my wallet's gotten a lot lighter.

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'