Fitness Excuse Maker Pillows

'Sure, I made a New Year's resolution. I want to get some regular exercise, so I'm joinin' the Monday Night Dart League dow at Clancy's.'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

"We need to walk."

Homework flavored dog food

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"That's how you're getting your steps in, putting your fitness tracker on the dog?"

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

Lame Lines

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

New years resolutions