Fitness Enthusiast With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

'We've had reports you're an unfit mother.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I exercise almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."

'That treadmill was only used once.'

"How many steps did you do today?"

Obese man on workout chair.

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

"Give me a spot?"

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"Ugh . . . nevermind."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Keep Fit.

Old Karate Master

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Only Clowns

Pelobong

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

Check out my six pack.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"Wanna go scroll on our phones at the gym?"

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."

'Like it'll do any good.'

attorney at law

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

"I used to run also, but I was happy I could turn a hobby into a career!"

"No matter how much I workout, my arms still look sticks."