Fish Observer T-Shirts

"I'm watching the fish and - spoiler alert - season two is a lot like season one."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

Fly Fishing

Bears catching fish

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

'I admire your floatibility.'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"She's just being Koi."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Are we there yet?"

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

Birds sitting on satellite dish.

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"Heads or tails?"

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"You've changed."

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

"He's so full of shit."

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'Your secondhand smoke is giving the hermit crab a hacking cough!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'