Fiscal Year Pillows

"Today, the U.S. budget, the Dow Jones, and the universe all expanded to uncharted territory."

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

In basket-case.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

What My Day Feels Like

Annual profits,

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

The Salesman

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

"I think it was an election year."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'Now this is my kind of green!'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'