End Of Fiscal Quarter Pillows

'Yes, I am positive we'll make a loss this quarter.'

Quarterly Results Are Down

In basket-case.

Computer Room.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Work Parfait

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

What My Day Feels Like

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Do your research!

Annual profits,

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

The Salesman

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."